Against my doctor’s orders, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. A big part of thinking is noticing, and it is easy to notice things when you open up your life to the possibility. Sometimes the world is a’whispering and other times it is screaming like a chicken without its manners. It’s up to you whether or not you want to listen, you know what I mean?

Pop quiz: here is a list for you. The sun. The moon. The ouroboros. Time. The AT&T logo. What do they have in common? They are all circles. The world (and beyond) are full of circles. That is what I am here to reverse-listen to you about.

Allow me to get to the point faster by going back a while. One year ago I was dirt poor. I didn’t have a job. I was living out of my motorcycle. Worstly, not ONE of the big publishing houses was interested in my manuscript about what I think really killed the dinosaurs (a house fire). Now I am ass rich. I get flown around the country - yes, on an airplane - to give talks to college students just like you about my journey.

An important part of embracing and living by the circularity is accepting that things are never permanent and, more often than never, you’re going to end up back where you started from. You will die in darkness because that is where you were born. Trust me, I remember. This is why I eat every gold-leaf ice cream Mondae (Mondaes are the new Sundaes) as if it’s my last. I make decisions, people. The decision to sell my bones and teeth on the internet after finding out that they had rare, medicinal properties is what made me my fortune. An equally spontaneous decision could put me right back in that motorcycle on the side of the highway, wondering when my next meal is going to be thrown out of a passing car. Usually it was whole-smoked cigarettes. Cigarettes are…? That’s right… circles if you bend’em right. Mind if I light up? Mm, smooth.

Listen- shit, the Earth, that’s another circle I forgot to mention up top. Mother Gaia. Listen, if you stood up and started walking and you didn’t stop walking and also you could walk on water and jump over mountains, where would you end up? Put your hands down, the answer is right back here in this ECHOEY lecture hall. Heck, you could stop at every Denny’s along the way and you would still end up right back here, staring at my toothless, boneless face. Circles, baby.

You eat, you un-eat (either hole), then you need to eat again. That’s a circle.

You got no one, you get a cat, you love the cat, the cat loves you, the cat gets bored, you don’t excite the cat anymore, you used to go out, now you are boring, the cat wants to take a break, you know the cat ain’t coming back, you got no one. Circle.

I’m not crying. Can’t. I sold my tear ducts to the water company.

Look -fuck, the wheel, that’s another one I wanted to mention up top. Okay, look, I can stand here (using my special machine) all day and list circles for you so I will: woks and clocks. Doll eyes, moon pies, fat guys and chicken thighs. The thing on this guy’s shirt is a circle, what is that? What the fuck is a “death star?” What the fuck is a “star war?” Oh shit, that sounds dope as hell.

Let me “circle” back to the point of this lecture. Live your life like it could stop at any moment and live every moment like it already happened. Trust me, it has. And it will happen again. I am living proof that circles work. But don’t take it from me… seriously do NOT take this from me. I got paid before I came into the room so I’m going to head out. If you see me writhing in the front vestibule just let me see it through, I will be fine. See you a-ROUND. I fucking love how echoey it is in here.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store